Debbie Jackson and her family are living through the pain of seeing a loved one battle the later stages of dementia.
Her husband Gary, who is 61, started to deteriorate in January last year following a series of brain bleeds.
By the end of 2023 he was diagnosed with vascular dementia and given a life expectancy of just twelve months.
It’s been a difficult time for Debbie who was caring for Gary at home until the physical and emotional toll became too great.
“We had 24/7 support at home, but he couldn’t understand why we needed that and he’d get so angry and have outbursts of abusing me,” Debbie said.
“I knew that wasn’t really him speaking but it doesn’t stop the hurt.”
Gary is now a patient at Mackay Base Hospital’s G2 ward but Debbie, who visits him every day, said he’s not aware of his surroundings.
“It’s really hard,” Debbie said.
“If I go into the hospital and he says ‘hello’ and he stays awake for most of the visit, I tell the kids that dad had a good day that day, and they know what that means.”
The couple have three children and three grandchildren.
“The grandkids visit but they say, ‘that’s not Grumps anymore’,” she said.
“They feel they lost their dad and granddad a long time ago.
“He sleeps 80 per cent of the time, and some days he’s just staring straight through you.
“Other days I think he recognises me. But he doesn’t talk much anymore and when he does it often doesn’t make sense.
“He was a man of about 105kg and now he’s close to 70kg; there’s nothing of him.”
Debbie shared some of her painful experience to raise awareness ahead of an Aged Care and Dementia Community Forum which was held in Mackay on May 17.
This free event was a shared initiative of Mackay Hospital and Health Service and North Queensland PHN, and provided an opportunity for carers and family members to identify and navigate age-related issues.
Following an introductory session with a geriatrician (specialist in aged care) there were opportunities to attend optional workshops around living with dementia, communication and preparing for the final days.
